Anger and Resistance To What Is
CLOUDED BY EMOTIONS
Most of our lives seem to be overrun by human emotion. We have a FEELING about anything and everything, yes? It doesn’t matter what life experience is happening right in front of us, we will have some sort of emotional reaction purge to the surface for everyone else around us to see. These spontaneous episodes seem to be ruling our lives, especially when awareness is not present yet. Without awareness, we might as well be lost in a sea of one powerful surge of emotion after another, much like life-threatening waves abrasively crashing onto the shore.
If we aren’t careful, we can let the scope of how we feel dominate who we are, so much so that it can interfere with how we operate, perceive, and behave in the world. We can take the bait on these emotions in so many different ways that we get stuck in a cycle of feelings without seeing what is right in front of our faces. Without seeing through the eyes of the OBSERVER, we become prey for our emotions to explode at whatever velocity they deem necessary.
It’s so easy to fall into this trap, after all, we are HUMAN! We all do this at some point or another. We all have a tendency to get caught up in how we feel about the situations around us that we often believe these deeply held feelings are who we are. We want our feelings to mean something, we want others to hear how we feel, we feel justified in how we feel, and we need validation on the matter. We believe we have a right to express our emotions and that everyone around us should care. However, we soon realize that this isn’t always the case. And, not everyone gives a crap what we think and feel.
EMOTIONS RISE UP AS WE WAKE UP
So, how do we deal with our own emotions, and what happens when we start waking up? Do these emotions have any real purpose? Is there a way to stop feeding the lion and just relax already? Well, as long as we are living in the world, emotions will arise. So, accepting that we will “feel” differently as we move through our lives is important. However, when we begin to wake up, when we enter the transformative process and are aware of it, we slowly detach from the identity and have an opportunity to see from the larger field of awareness, or with the OBSERVER.
Seeing from this broader perspective will help as emotions begin to purge right out of you. The more layers you begin to shed of yourself, the more your emotional body will work itself to the surface. As much as we don’t want to feel any of this, sooner or later you will be shown all the aspects of whom you thought yourself to be, like the sweet and lovely character, ANGER. What an uncomfortable emotion to deal with! And, how quickly we can allow ourselves to become its little servant, just becoming this rage without even thinking.
Anger in and of itself is nothing. It’s just a feeling like any other emotion. But, when we give it meaning, when we fuel the fire and allow the beast to increase in intensity, it can grow into an uncontrollable rage that can really do harm if you don’t have the tools to see this coming. When you are in the midst of transformation, you are given the ability to SEE. When you SEE, you can better understand what these emotions are doing.
MEET ANGER UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL
Anger arises when we disagree with someone else or their opinion, when we feel wronged in some way, or when we feel a situation is not going the way we want it to. To sum it up, anger comes forth when we are RESISTING WHAT IS. It’s like butting heads with reality, kicking and screaming on the floor like an out-of-control child until we get our way. And when we don’t get our way, this anger festers and eventually, if not curbed, turns into rage, anger’s violent evil twin. This is why horrible acts occur in this world, when rage sets in it’s very difficult to reverse course unless the awareness is born.
When we are going through the undoing of the self on any level, especially if it’s not going according to our master plan, anger will arise and resistance will set in. The longer our challenge persists, we will dress up in our internal battle of armor to hold the line, to keep our walls from crumbling, to avoid surrender at all costs. It’s the ego’s last stand for its very survival. It will absolutely put up an aggressive fight for its life. Looking at it from this perspective, can you begin to see why it is so protective? Can you understand where it’s coming from? It doesn’t mean you empathize with it, it simply means do you SEE it for what it is?
For those of us that think we don’t have an angry bone in our body, look out! Get ready for possible fireworks finales on a regular basis. When you get tested enough, when the doors slam shut in your face enough, when nothing works and you are down in the dark pit of hell, the frustration comes to an explosive boiling point and anger comes flying out of you like an unhinged lunatic. Your anger presents in ways you never imagined! Yelling and screaming at anyone and everyone around you, and living in a literal fit of anger may fester as your transformation takes you further and further into its undoing.
ANGER’S PURPOSE
If anger is simply one emotion on the vast scale of all other emotions we produce, then what is its purpose? Can it be channeled into a force for some type of movement? Can it help in any way when most of us think it’s so bad?
If we step outside of thoughts and feelings being positive or negative, we open the door into a much broader arena. Without judging the emotion itself, we can then begin to see what it can be used for. Just because anger feels really intense and can often, without training, cause major disturbances in the world, it doesn’t have to turn out this way. It can actually be quite beneficial.
Feeling stagnant on your path is a very difficult moment in time. When nothing is moving, nothing is changing, nothing is happening, it brings forth a powerful latent anger, and with the help of the OBSERVER, you can begin to see its purpose. If anger is against something, then what can you do to change the energy that you are in? When anger and resistance persist in your life, ask how you can use this powerful energy to alter your immediate needs. Can you work with this emotion to make any sort of change that will allow you to feel more comfortable or more accepting of what is?
If you are truly in a place where you can analyze your own mind, as well as the anger and resistance you are projecting, then play with different ideas to see how you can allow the anger to help you instead of harm you. What can you change in your physical experience to make it more manageable? How can you see differently in your own mind to create the peace you desire?
MY APPOINTMENT WITH ANGER
At a certain point in time, I had become so mad at what was happening to me. I simply hated it! I was quite literally a raging bull! I couldn’t believe that this had become my life. From exploring life to doing absolutely nothing, I began to despise the situation that had become all too real. Why was this happening to me? What was the point of feeling all this energy and then staying away from anything happening in the world around me? I couldn’t answer any of it, which was part of the reason I was so mad.
So, anger decided to come out in full force. I spent time screaming for no obvious reason, yelling at my kids and my husband for things that really didn’t deserve such a reaction. My own internal chaos was being projected out onto the stage around me, whether they liked me or not. It always seems to be the people closest to us that we feel comfortable showing this side of ourselves. Aren’t they lucky? To see our closest people’s inner clown show all the time is not always what we dream about when we start a family.
After many months of feeling an inner rage, I soon realized that I needed to use this to move me in a better direction. If the anger was persisting so intently, and my resistance to the experience was at an all-time high, how in the world was I ever going to shift this into acceptance of what was happening? How could I wrap my arms around something I despised with a passion? How could I ever see it as a net positive, when all I currently felt was a petrifying horror movie raging on?
Well, I started asking deeper questions. I started shifting my attitude into, this must be teaching me something, and I am too busy pushing it away! I am so wrapped up in myself and how I FEEL about it, that I can’t even see what it is offering me. Eventually, I realized that how I FELT didn’t matter anymore. Feeling horrible about it wasn’t doing anything to change the situation. The more I used the anger to shift my mindset, the better I felt, and the anger slowly but surely exited stage left. I embraced this change in my life and began trusting that it was leading me somewhere. I had always felt that, and when the darkness set in, I lost sight of that original intuitive pull. Anger and resistance allowed me to find my way again, and for that I am grateful.
ACCEPTANCE
Accepting what is, is easier said than done. A lot of people out there will say, just be okay with everything that is happening all the time. The reality is we ARE NOT happy with what is happening all the time. So, anger and resistance arise, and gives you another opportunity, not only to see clearly but to let this emotion come out, let this layer that has clearly been inside of you release for good. Just as you are resisting what is happening in your life, can you accept the emotion you are feeling and allow it to move you in a different direction?
If you have been taught throughout your life to keep your anger hidden, to not express this emotion because others around you have told you so, then it might be time to re-evaluate that line of thinking. By keeping things hidden, you are avoiding the issue altogether, and never solving the problem that is clearly there. All that is required is that you look at it, see why it’s there, and then utilize it for a shift in your life.
If you never allow the anger to come forward, then you are waiting for a possible future implosion or explosion depending on the circumstance. And, if you are unwilling to look at how anger can be of service, and are fixated on it being negative, then it will just continue to run you around in circles until you begin to see it differently. Asking why the anger has arrived might be incredibly obvious. However, doing the work and watching it, using it to your advantage rather than your disadvantage, can make a world of difference when you enter into a difficult phase of your spiritual transition.