A Cry For Love: How to Break Free From Attack Thoughts
WHY DO PEOPLE DO WHAT THEY DO?
Humanity often resembles a mixed bag of unstable emotions, a roller coaster of indescribable feelings, and unpredictable behaviors. Witnessing someone break down, throw a fit, scream at the top of their lungs, express the most outrageous statements, or appear violent, full of rage, and seething with a desire to attack makes it very easy to despise them, doesn’t it? The second someone attacks your inner protective mechanisms in the mind wants to immediately sound the alarm, bring in the troops, and wage war against this person who appears completely out of control.
It is a conditioned response in each one of us to see such behavior as a threat, as someone who is separate from the rest of us, and the temptation to judge them, attack back, or retaliate seems par for the course in this world. Many people wonder what brings a person to act out in such extreme ways, express subtle accusations and attack in a more subdued fashion, or continue to bully others as a way of life.
You could spend years studying the psychology of their mind, you could try to reason that all past experiences are morphing their present day disturbance, however, the most simple and powerful understanding of why people do what they do is BECAUSE OF HOW THEY FEEL INSIDE! Doesn’t it really boil down to your own personal state of mind within? Would a peaceful, loving, kind state of mind act out in a malicious way? Probably not!
If you think about behaviors in this way, you will then come to the conclusion that most people must be feeling conflicted within themselves. Just take a look around you. Look at the dilemmas in your personal sphere, then take a look out on the world stage. It won’t take you long to observe that this world is one unstable mind! Conflict doesn’t have to look violent either. Conflict comes in all shapes and sizes, various forms of severity, and presents itself in all types of relationships with others. When you notice people are doing what they do because of how they feel inside, you can also turn inward and see how your own behaviors, thoughts, feelings, and emotions are also reflecting in how you project outward.
REACTING TO LIFE
The ego mind is a conditioned apparatus simply reacting to anything and everything. The ego’s number one strategy is to self-preserve. Maintain self-identity at all costs is the name of the game. Take a moment and think about a time when someone attacked you, or said something to degrade you, or offend you in some way. What was your response? Did you sit there and say nothing, meanwhile your mind was busy creating mental theatrics attacking the person, seeking numerous forms of revenge, and immediately separating and distancing yourself from this person? Or, are you more of an extrovert and your mental imagery came pouring out of your mouth! Were you setting this person straight, attacking back, or expressing what a horrible person they are? Was there now an escalated battle between the two of you?
Whether you know it or not, the ego mind is conditioned to protect itself at all costs, and attack anything that threatens its existence. The ego loves separation and projects this out onto the world stage. As A Course in Miracles explains, if the ego created separation apart from God, it created a playground to hide and play God as the maker of its own reality. This is really important to take note of. The ego’s creation of the dual world we are living in, is nothing more than an attack on God. Therefore, according to the Course, this attack is projected out onto everything we see in front of us in the world of separation.
The entire structure of the ego is to stay alive and well as a separate individual identity. The method of attack is to make the other person wrong so you are right, which is a symbol of the ego’s attack on God. God is wrong and I am right. Without a personal self, the ego quite literally dissolves. The last thing the ego mind wants to surrender is its own demise.
Knowing that the ego is afraid of its own death, makes perfect sense why it will attack and protect itself no matter what. These attacks can be physical or mental, it doesn’t matter. If you don’t actually attack someone verbally or physically, yet you are thinking about doing so, it’s the same thing. An attack thought is the same as an actual attack. You will still feel the shift in your own energy when you are disgusted by another person. Your walls form and this person is now enemy number one.
However, is there a way to shift out of the separated conditioned mind of the ego, and join with the spiritual loving presence within that sees these attacks for what they actually are, a true cry for REAL love. The love of God. The ego’s tantrums are nothing more than a yearning to feel whole again, to feel connected and part of the All. How can you reframe what you think you are seeing and break free from the ego’s persistent strong hold?
SHIFTING INTO LOVE
In order to shift away from attack and the constant need to preserve the ego, you will need to completely reframe what you think you are seeing. For instance, turn on the news, and it won’t take long until you see a story about murder, war, a legal suit, or any other crime spreading across the breaking news alert. How do you feel when you see these outrageous stories? How do you feel when you see threats of war around the world? How do you react when you feel threatened by anything you see here? Are you upset? Are you horrified? Are you creating an attack against the person, the country, or the group that is being reported? Most people will respond with a YES. It is a classic ego response to feel offended, threatened, outraged, or up in arms over the decisions and actions of others.
If you desire to shift into a place of love and compassion, and learn how to break away from the conditioned need to attack, instead of taking the circumstance on personally, ask why would a person or group of people do what they do? What must they be feeling inside to behave in such threatening ways? They are simply believing in the ego’s game, that’s it. The ego is in protective mode, keeping its identity safe and secure. In order to protect, it needs to attack and prove that it is right and the other party is wrong. Ultimately, the ego is standing guard covering the symbol of REAL LOVE.
When you see what’s going on underneath, you will see it everywhere. You will recognize that a conflicted mind is nothing more than a call for love and you can begin to see every negative behavior with more compassion and understanding. You will also notice this in yourself. Here are a few things to think about when you find yourself immediately on the attack when you feel threatened:
If you are actually being threatened, by all means take the necessary steps to defend yourself or seek help. Learning to shift perspective does NOT mean you have no boundary or stand by and do nothing.
When you find yourself attacking someone, whether it is physically, verbally, or only with attack thoughts, check in and see what are you feeling inside that triggers you to attack? Is this action you feel justified for? Why? Or is that what your ego wants you to believe so you stay disconnected from the love within?
Watching someone you know or someone in the public eye act out in ways you find appalling, can you see that this outburst is really a cry for love? Can you see that this act is coming from a conflicted mind? Do you notice how quickly you will want to separate yourself and make them wrong, or judge them, attack them, or claim to know what is best for them?
If you are struggling in any relationship, and you feel like you’re in a constant battle, can you shift into your spiritual mind and see that both of you are conflicted within? Even if the relationship is at an impasse and it fizzles, can you see the cry for love from each of you? Can you see that your ego desires to be separate and maintain its position?
Remind yourself, when you are conditioned to attack another, or simply have an attack thought, what you see in front of you is not what you think it is. Be curious about what is driving this person to behave in this. manner. Can you come from an investigative place instead of a judging place? Ask your spiritual side to see clearly. Recognize that you are learning, that you are open to breaking free, and need guidance. Go within yourself and connect with that loving place as much as possible.
Learning to see acts in the world as a cry for love can not only change how you interact with others, but it allows you to understand them. Shifting perspectives can change your entire life. Not only will you have more compassion for others, you will have more compassion and love for yourself.