“The Doer”
ACHIEVEMENT
This world of survival is obsessed with various achievements. From a young age we are taught that going through the required levels of school grants us a level of achievement. We are rewarded with a certificate of accomplishment, a cap and gown, some fancy tassels and a robe, you get the picture. We can then venture off to college and apply ourselves in numerous ways, attain associates, bachelors, minors, masters, and doctorate degrees. We can attend technical, vocational, or trade schools and learn a specific trade that will help us in a career we aspire to become. There are public and private institutions each one projecting a certain air and attitude which often rubs off on the graduates. Some people feel more superior than others if they happened to attend a prestigious institution. All of these educational options offer a level of achievement.
If we participate in sports we may advance to the final championships rounds and receive a trophy, a ribbon, or a plaque with either our individual or team recognition. This happens on the recreational level all the way up to the professional and olympic standard of athletes. Maybe you have a goal to run a marathon so you begin training months in advance in order to withstand the lengthy twenty-six point two mile race. For some, setting regular goals to push yourself deepens your character and makes you feel like you can do anything you set your mind to.
The same scenario applies to your career. You may find yourself setting goals within the company you work for. Maybe you are reaching for a certain sales goal to get the promotion you want, you are a self-starter looking to create your own thriving business, you are innovating a new functional product everyone needs, or you are just doing your job without any extra needed stress in your life, whatever you are immersed in the mind has a tendency to attach to whatever role you find yourself in, so much so that you begin to believe you are that role. The ego mind has a clever way of sinking its teeth deeply into whatever we do, making us believe that the “DOER” is who we are. But, is that the case? Are we really what we do or achieve in this world? Or is that part of the confusion the ego creates?
WHERE DOES THE “DOER” STEM FROM?
The entire world of duality is structured on survival. In order to survive we must be able to earn money, feed ourselves, pay our bills, and do it all over again every month. The “Doer” is born from this very real need to live. If we don’t do, we don’t survive. For some, they want much more than the bare minimum, they want extravagance, elegance, a nice lifestyle, while others are okay with minimal. It all depends on your particular personality and what you want in your life. Many people have an over-achiever mentality. They become so obsessed with doing, with getting, with attaining and reaching, that once they grab hold of one image they are determined to have, they set the next goal and work tirelessly to get there. The “Doer” is so accustomed to doing that it has no idea how to stop. It knows nothing other than focusing on something to achieve in the future.
But, what is it the “Doer'“ wants? What is it looking for? If it is always reaching for more is it really satisfied? It seems the “Doer” mentality is simply attached to gaining material things, or intangible successes to look more accomplished than others like it’s climbing an imaginary ladder to where? Where are we going other than staying right here? Even when you reach your goals, get what you want, gather more material wealth and luxuries, aren’t you still doing the same thing all over again? Aren’t you still in the world, getting up in the morning, and participating in the survival game?
This mentality creeps into our lives everywhere we turn. For some people when you become a parent this can really kick in to over drive. You start believing you need to do everything for your child. You think they need the best toys on the market, the safest most advanced furniture, the top of the line stroller, a list of playdates ten miles long, signing up for parenting classes, putting your kids in a every activity imaginable that their schedule is now more socially packed than yours. You want to be seen as the best parent you can possibly be so you do whatever it takes to join the PTA, volunteer at school, donate when you can, that you are now so physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted you may begin to despise doing any of it. But, the guilt shows up and you continue putting on the “Doer” hat because you think it’s a requirement. Sometimes getting caught up in the vicious cycle of doing can cause frustration, resentment, and perpetual unhappiness if you don’t step back and see what can change.
REALITY OF THE WORLD
There will always be “doing” as long as we live in this world. That is what the world is about, constant activity and adventure, creating, experiencing, struggling, striving, underachieving, overachieving, doing nothing at all, it is the ego’s playground, a playground of constant distraction that we begin to believe is the real deal. We can become so attached to this ego thinking mind that we believe it is who we are, that there is nothing other than our individual personas. Only when we begin to wake up, when we are shown otherwise, when a bomb goes off in our world that we begin to question what is really going on here? What is this constant need to achieve? And who is desiring the outcome?
The ego is always the strategist when it comes to expecting certain outcomes. If we set goals for ourselves that we are unable to achieve we can turn this into an inward attack. Thoughts like I am not good enough, I am a failure, I am not smart enough, I will never be able to do anything, I’ll never make it in life, I’ll never be anybody, you name it the attack thoughts come in at warp speed and self-sabotage is born. As much as you wanted to achieve your goal, when you don’t get there the mental turnaround happens instantly for many people. The thought of “I am a bad person” starts playing and self punishment can set it. The ego becomes so attached to being good or bad that it becomes challenging to see any other way. There is a very narrow path when it comes to the ego. It relishes in limited viewpoints as a strategy to keep you stuck in the mud.
The mind is extraordinarily fixated on labels. The favorite categories are either “good” or “bad.” The “doer” will attach itself to the “good” category, that do good mentality which feels better about itself when it is accomplishing something it sees as great. If those ideals aren’t met the mind places it in the “bad” category. Keeping ourselves within this limited perspective can be a never ending trap that we can never escape from. And, that is the point, the ego sets it up this way. Its mastery has a trap at every turn so we never escape its insanity.
THE GOOD PERSON SYNDROME
What is this good person and bettering ourselves about anyway? Why does the “doer” get so caught up in this endeavor? It’s a common theme out there that we need to grow and be better people. What does that mean? Doesn’t it mean different things to different people? What part of us are we bettering? The self-centered aspect of the ego mind, the mind that is focused on itself? Or, the greater essence of who we are? Does the larger awareness strive for success? Does the larger awareness need anything at all? It is important to ask these questions to differentiate between which aspect of ourselves we are identifying with.
When the mind is solely focused on becoming something important in the world, something better than we think we are, when we are looking for recognition of our greatness, we are simply building our small identity up to be an image of magnificence. It’s like it’s secretly competing with the beauty and perfection of spirit which it can never have. The ego secretly robs the perfection that we already are and works to create its own special goodness. It does this so we believe it, and never see the real greatness that is always there. The greatness that is everywhere which has nothing to do with our identity. The deeper essence of who we are, our truest spiritual nature is so beyond doing good deeds in the world, and it certainly doesn’t need a gold star to glorify these so-called kind acts.
If you find yourself needing to be a better person or do good things, ask yourself if you are attached to this ideal, or is it something that you do because you genuinely enjoy it. Are you wanting something in return, to be recognized for your goodness? If you are simply giving without needing something in return, then you are joining with the larger Self. If you are working toward bettering yourself to gain something from it, maybe gain attention, climb the ladder at work, or to simply feel like you are accepted by others, then the ego is in charge. It is fairly simple to identify who is the dominating factor in your life, and it is equally simple to choose the larger teacher when we realize the ego’s dominance.
WAKING UP FROM THE IDENTITY
When you are thrown into any transformative experience and you begin to detach from the identity you believed yourself to be, you recognize there is another teacher within. There is a much larger presence, a vast loving awareness available to us. When you become more in touch with the real you, the “doer” may become less important to you. It may start to simmer down. This doesn’t mean you stop doing things of the world, what it means is that you lose the attachment to any desired outcome. You “do” for the sake of “doing” rather than needing to be recognized for the achievement you have reached. You no longer care about the small identity climbing the invisible ladder of self-betterment. This now seems silly and rather exhausting.
Why would we spend all of our time bettering the self that is false? If it is false, then why not get in touch with our truest side? Why not work on the lasting relationship, the eternal one instead of the actor who only has so many scenes left? When we recognize this deeper place within we can shift how we see our entire life. We can go to this peace within that is ever-present and feel happiness no matter what happens in the external world around us. Whether our life appears to be going well, or it dips into difficult circumstances, the peace within is always with us. We can find this true happiness even if we don’t get what our ego mind thinks it needs. What the ego mind thinks it needs and we actually need are two totally different things.
As difficult as awakening can be, as much as we may wish it away, there comes a point where your desire for peace outweighs anything else in your life. Striving to achieve in the world may be fun and temporarily rewarding, but does it last? Is it really filling you up with anything substantial? If it were then you wouldn’t need to keep reaching for more. The ego always wants more, wants more accolades, more praise, more stuff, it just won’t stop. When you are exhausted trying to set goals and reach them all the time, when you recognize there must be more to life than being the best person you can be, the door within opens and invites you to see from a much larger perspective. Why not walk in and see for yourself?