What is Real Happiness? Do We Know What it is?
ARE YOU HAPPY?
Do you generally consider yourself happy? Is it something you carry within you, or do you feel happiest when your external environment is going the way you wish it to? Do you secretly hate everybody you encounter and have no interest in hearing about what they are doing with themselves? Are you often discouraged, sad, or depressed when you hear unwanted or shocking information? Do you think you’re in charge of your happiness or are you expecting others to give you the happiness you desire? So many people expect others to behave and act in a certain way, so much so that when they fail to meet this mental imagery in your head, you are devastated. The devastation can be so overwhelming that you have now let this person’s undesirable actions take over how you feel in your life. In essence, the power within you has been muted, and you have silently let this person take it from you. This can be such a regular occurrence that most people don’t even recognize it when it happens. Our focus and attention on our own happiness is often been put into the hands of those around us, without noticing this is happening.
There is a direct pressure today to be happy all the time. Really? Is that what the human experience is all about? Being happy and joyful 24/7? Who is happy all the time? Do you know anyone, including yourself, that is always happy? It’s probably a safe bet that that answer is NO! As human beings we experience a spectrum of all kinds of emotions from the feeling self. Like it or not, this is just how we are wired. This obvious and spoken pressure to be happy, that happiness is the normal state, and feeling anything other than that displays the potential for psychiatric intervention. Isn’t there a normal experience of all the emotions? Does feeling down, or upset, sad, unconfident, worried, or anxious fall into the typical human experience? Why is this so frowned upon, and how can you see it differently in your own life, without letting the mainstream narrative tell you otherwise? These frustrating emotions can be extraordinary guides to going deeper into our own unconscious. If we never acknowledge these emotions, and constantly take “happy” pills, or look for external events to fill this void, are we disconnecting from the opportunity for real transformation, a transformation taking us out of the attachment to our emotions.
When you are running in a reactionary state of mind, you may not be able to identify what you are doing. You are so wrapped up in the expectation in your head, that it hasn’t yet occurred to you there is a decision to be made about how you choose to feel. The key word here being “choose.” Many of us fail to see there is an actual choice to be made in how we perceive any given situation. It’s easy to feel you are at the mercy of external circumstances. Until you get so tired of losing your happiness to others around you, will you begin to take back the reigns and know where your true power lies, within you!
WHAT IS REAL HAPPINESS?
Everyone has their own opinion or perception of what happiness is. After all, we get to decide what it means to us. Is happiness laughing all the time? Is it the subtle inner joy that brings a smile to your face? Or, is it simply the place of peace within you that stays constant in the midst of external circumstance? Have you been around someone who always seems happy? Does their joy make you feel good? Is it contagious? What is their secret to maintaining this state of being? There are many studies and people looking at different cultures to see what makes them happy. You can certainly look all over the place, ask numerous groups of people what keeps them feeling happy. Many claim that sense of belonging and community, or feeling connected to close family and friends, a simple less stressful life, or a healthy body and mind is happiness. While others swear financial freedom allows them the happiness they desire. Others find perfect happiness in isolation. Those seeking connection to God such as monks, nuns, yogis, or any comtemplative person seem more content on their own. Society and the modern culture often persuades the individual to feel a sense of belonging, a part in the community, a place in the world if you will to feel happiness. Each person will have their own individual experience with happiness, what it is, and what it isn’t. It can mean many different things to many people. The only thing that matters is, what does it mean to you?
On another note, do we really need to research what makes us happy? Are we that disconnected to our true essence that we think happiness is something we need to go looking for? It’s time to get your treasure map out everybody! Let’s go on adventure seeking clue after clue until we uncover the red X none of us seem to see in our day to day life. When you think of it in this way, you really have to ask why this seems so difficult? Are we making it much more complicated than it really is? Or, are we that lost, that our happiness has been swept away by the petty distractions life continuously presents us? Are we putting all of our happiness into a predetermined mental expectation, and when that expectation is met, we move on to the next stage striving for more happiness? Or, if we fail to meet the mental imagery in our minds, do we feel sorrow, melancholy, and an emptiness we get trapped in?
The fast paced life with obligations and responsibilities galore creates ample stress and less happiness for many people. Some people feel there is no other way to live, that this is as good as it gets. But, does it have to be the case. Maybe it’s time for a simpler life in the country. Trying to keep up with the high prices, working overtime to feed the family, and mentally compete with others our age and what they’ve accumulated is enough to make life feel miserable. Why chase something that is constantly moving further away? This is when a radical shift in perception can alter how you feel in your life. Either that, or make some actual physical changes that will benefit your current situation.
ABUNDANCE- IS THAT WHAT MAKES US HAPPY?
The idea of keeping ourselves in a certain positive frame of mind, emitting a high frequency will attract that same frequency back to us, which leaves most people feeling pretty bad when they think they are doing all the right things yet they find themselves in a difficult situation. Does lots of money have a higher vibration than less money? Does a smaller quaint home have a lower vibration than an enormous luxurious home? Do nice cars have more positive vibrations than older vehicles? Those touting that frame of mind equals lots of financial success and material abundance might be overlooking what abundance is really about. There are certainly ways to view material abundance, but is that type of material wealth really the recipe for real happiness. There are plenty of people, rich and poor, who are unhappy. And the opposite is true, there are plenty of rich and poor people who are perfectly happy. There must be much more to feeling truly happy than what career you have, how much money is in your bank account, how many trips you have been on, or the other material goods you can accumulate in your life. What does stuff have to do with happiness? Stuff comes and goes, do you want your happiness to do the same? Or, would you rather discover permanent happiness within?
The question to ask yourself is, are you happy no matter what happens in your life? Are you happy and content even when the unexpected arrives in your life? Let’s face it, life gets rough, it can be downright brutal. The waves of the ocean reach peaks of overwhelming joy, and then crash down hard into trenches where we have to dig deep to get out of them. Do you need experiences to make you happy? Some people feel that doing things in the world makes them happy. But do you need this in order to be fulfilled? Is this really necessary to feel happy? Or is this the self-gratifier inside that needs something in order to feel a certain way?
Because happiness is subjective, it really boils down to what works for you in your life. Are you generally a happy person, it’s simply part of your character, and is that a personality trait, or is happiness felt on a deeper level? If you see all things in life as opportunities to see differently or to learn something, then you are more likely to find some aspect of happiness because you don’t turn life’s downturns into a one-way ticket to nowhere. You see all things in life as a teacher, a guide for you along your journey to self-discovery.
Abundance can be defined much deeper than the physical and material things we accumulate in life. What about the essence of energy beneath matter? Can we connect with this vibrance and bring it forth in our lives? Can abundance include the intangible experiences in life such as, relationships with others, our relationship with ourselves, connecting with the natural world, spending time with loved ones, helping a friend in need, asking a friend when you need help, or laughing your ass off at something that is really funny. Abundance is tapping into the expansive field within and around us, which may be all you need to feel truly happy. It can also offer abundant creativity that can be applied in your life through ideas, to produce something, and to solve problems you have been in search of. Abundance can have an entirely different meaning to our happiness than gaining material goods.
CHALLENGES SHOW YOU WHERE HAPPINESS RESIDES
Going through trials and tribulations often shows us what is really important in life. If you have been brought to the brink of death, your perspective on life changes dramatically. If you have experienced any kind of struggle, you may develop a compassion and empathy for others you would not have previously understood. Getting to live a very real challenge has the opportunity to fill you with grace, the larger presence that will bring overwhelming peace. This awareness shows you that everything you ever need is always with you. You suddenly know that no matter what happens in your life, no matter what happens to the physical body, there is something much larger awaiting you, and it’s eternal nature is beyond this world. This type of knowing may come in as a glimpse and stay with you the remainder of your life. It may come in and leave, and then it becomes a distant memory, or it may come in and stay with you the rest of your life. Either way it happens, the memory is there. The light bulb has gone off and you are okay with wherever life leads.
You may have been chasing that feeling your entire life, then with the unexpected challenging event, you have been forever transformed. You now feel grateful for the struggle. In fact, you wouldn’t change a thing. The inner discovery and realization is far better than expecting outcomes, reaching goals, just to keep striving for more. Where does it end? When is real happiness achieved? And, is it an achievement, or is it simply a feeling deep within, hiding in the treasure box all along?
When you are cruising along in your life and everything is going well, it’s difficult to recognize if your sense of happiness is based on the good things in your life, or if it is a real feeling you carry with you. The only time you will know if this is true, is when you are tested, when something does not go the way you expect it to. When your world blows up is when you can begin to see where you stand on true happiness. Most people will feel devastated when life gets complicated, it’s just how most people react. It’s only when you are repeatedly tested, when you are pulled into that challenging dark place that you can see where you are placing your sense of peace, and your sense of happiness in your life. Although the initial difficulty can throw you off course, or at least you think you are off course, it has the chance to open doors into an entirely new world of inner expansion, of an aliveness that fuels you.
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY IN YOUR OWN LIFE? EXTERNAL VS. INTERNAL
The only thing that really matters is what makes you happy. It’s not about what other people think, it’s not about what a culturaly research project discovered, it’s not about what a self-help guru labels happiness, it’s only about how you feel in your own life. Keep in mind, this definition you create for happiness may change as you experience different things. What you think makes you happy now, may not even come close several years down the road. All you can ever know, is what makes you happy now, in this moment, that’s it. Stay focused on the present and how you feel your own happiness in whatever situation you are experiencing.
Start noticing if you are someone who needs big things to happen in order to feel happy. Or, are you content with the small things? Do you need someone to act a certain way toward you in order to feel happy? Or, can you maintain this inner joy no matter how people are treating you? Do you feel happiest when people are showering you with compliments, recognition, awards, and gifts, or are you most content helping others? These questions will help you identify if your happiness is fixated on the external world, or your internal world. Then you are better able to understand how you function and if it is working for you or not. If you find that you are on a roller coaster of emtional imbalances all the time and have no sense of inner stability, then see where you are putting your happiness efforts, within or without?
Simply being able to watch yourself, to ask questions about your own happiness and expectations, will help you see what is truly making you happy. Once you see, then you can make any necessary shifts in your life that might help you feel more connected to the inner peace awaiting you. Life inevitably changes on the outside, that is a gaurantee in this world. So, it seems natural to look within to find more depth and more permanence than anything the world can provide. When you look within, spend time going within yourself, seeing the expansive space that exists, what you feel on the inside will extend to the outside. This doesn’t mean the entire world will change, for that would require every individual doing similar work, but it what it does mean is that you can bring forth a peace, and a real genuine happiness to those around you, because the world is not going to do it for you.