Fear: A Relevant Part of the Process
FEAR AND LOVE- WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?
One of the most repeated phrases you will hear in the world of self-discovery is “Don’t Go to Fear, Only Go to Love.” That sounds lovely, doesn’t it? If only it were that simple. Fear is often misunderstood and preached by many teachers to avoid it, to not look at it, and to only be the LOVE you are. Well, what does that even mean? How do we know the LOVE we are? What relevance, if any, does fear have in our lives? It seems most of us are lost on an unknown path just trying to figure it out.
Most of us relate to fear and love as simply emotions we experience as human beings. This is associated with our identity self, our ego self if you will, and is seen as the ego’s domain of specialness. When we are discussing love, we mostly understand and feel it as the special love we have for certain people in our lives. This type of love is not universal, it is not unconditional, and it is very selective. You can often think of this type of love as a love-hate relationship. When we are head over heels in love, we could never imagine despising this person until that one day something bad happens, and now this person is on our hit list! It’s amazing how fast you can go from loving someone to hating them. Because this is so common, you have to wonder, what kind of love is this?
When we are looking at fear, we relate this to things we are afraid of in the world. We may be afraid of expressing who we really are, we might be afraid to speak up, we might be afraid of change or to start something new, maybe other people intimidate us and we shut down, or we might have serious phobias where there is something specific that terrifies us. All of these levels of fear are also dealing with the special ego self, the emotional level of our identity as who we believe ourselves to be.
Preaching only love and avoiding fear is denying an aspect of ourselves that needs to be understood and released. Fear serves a purpose, maybe an unpleasant one, but it is there for a reason. Seriously, what are we talking about by making these two opposing forces at odds with each other? It’s necessary to break down our human emotions and the ego’s specialness, versus the decision-making mind and the entire mental apparatus. It is important to understand the split conflicted mind when looking at these two options.
THE DECISION-MAKING MIND VERSUS EMOTIONS WE EXPERIENCE
Before we dive deeper into fear, it is important to note that on the level of emotions, these are simply how we live and respond in the world. Within this vast array from fear all the way to love, we will experience them throughout our lives on many different levels. These human emotions are vastly different from the decision-making apparatus in our minds. The decision maker is simply the choice to see with the ego self, or the false self, the self that seeks self-gratification at all costs, or with the eyes of spirit, the truthful side of who you really are, the side of the mind that knows the ego is ultimately not a real identity. The spiritual side is the side of peace, it is choosing a Higher Love, which is very different than the special love mentioned above.
Rising above the battleground of the conflicted mind and choosing to see with spirit, is another way of saying I see through the eyes of peace, even if I don’t understand what I am seeing in front of me, I choose peace instead of this. I choose Real Love instead of this. It doesn’t necessarily mean there is a special loving situation in your physical experience. You are simply deciding to see what’s in front of you through a Higher Perspective. It has nothing to do with behaviors in the world.
If your decision-making mind chooses the ego’s vision, then you are siding with the special identity that needs to be needed, it’s seeking something in return, and this is the side of the mind that is fearful. It is part of the dual mind that is afraid of letting itself go. Think about it, who wants to lose themselves? Who wants to lose their identity? Most of us absolutely do NOT want to do that, even if we nonchalantly say we aren’t attached to ourselves, there is some aspect we may not know about yet that is shaking to the core.
WHAT DOES FEAR REPRESENT?
To take it one step further, what does fear symbolize? Why is it so strongly rooted in us at all? Fear is the protector. It is protecting who we think we are. Just think about how fast you’ll attack if you feel threatened by someone or something. It’s an automatic response. We just pull out all the stops to keep our identities alive, and most of us do not even know this is happening.
The ego mind, the false mind that is comprised of fear, represents this entire world. You could say the world is based on fear. Just look around. If you are really willing to look, you will see that on all levels of the world, in nature, and in our interactions as human beings, we are ultimately driven by survival. That is the name of the game. Nature is no different. Whether it be the animal kingdom killing itself for food, or the plants battling for water underneath the ground, and sunlight from above, everything is working to survive. And this survival is based on the fear of losing our identification as a separate self.
The world could be seen as our temporary unreal home away from Home, meaning our Real Home in God. This Real Home, or Reality, is Real Love, not the special love of the ego and what the world has made up. When we speak of fear and love in this way, then we can begin to make decisions in the world that reflect this symbolism. The world can be seen as one giant symbol, and in this way be used to free us from the bondage of the mind we have created.
FACING FEAR DURING TRANSFORMATION
When we start going through any type of transformation process, the issue of losing yourself will eventually be brought front and center. An existential crisis may present itself in order for you to shed the deeper layers you may have been unaware of. The actual feeling of losing YOU may be released from the subconscious and into your conscious mind. What was previously unknown, is now very much KNOWN.
Before you had a glimpse of the subconscious, the treasure box of real fear that has been deliberately put into hiding, you were most likely only aware of fear as a frightening emotion in your daily life. And, yes, this can be very difficult to deal with. Fear can bring us to a state of terror, and terror can you leave you frozen in your tracks unable to do anything.
When you dive deeper into the subconscious, the fear becomes more understood. If the world is simply a temporary world, and our Real Home in God, is elsewhere, and if there is only oneness in Reality, the moment arrives when you as a special identity is non-existent in the Real World of Love. This fear of non-existence, from the ego’s perspective, brings about the petrified experience. The ego self produces an unbelievable inner earthquake of fear, fear beyond anything in the world. It is fear of non-existence itself because the ego ultimately doesn’t exist at all. This is where the terror ignites, where the fireworks may start going off within you. If you are not this identity, with all these personality traits, characteristics, accomplishments, etc., then what are you?
This thought alone can be debilitating, especially when the ego is finally aware of its own demise. It becomes increasingly threatened, and at the same time increasingly afraid. You might find that this stage of your awakening reaches a point of literal devastation. You now are faced with the knowledge that you are not what you thought you were, but you have no idea what you are. You know intuitively that you are part of something much Greater, however, that has not yet shown itself to you.
HOW CAN YOU WORK THROUGH FEAR?
From my own personal experience with fear and terror, in fact, we became incredible friends for a very long period of time, I encourage anyone experiencing fear on any level, especially if it is hindering your life, to look at it, and question what it is saying. What is fear trying to show you? It most certainly is present for a reason.
If you want to get through transformation, fear is the dominating force that will lead you there. Fear can actually lead you to love. It CAN bring you full circle. So for anyone saying to avoid it, they are encouraging you to avoid the number one experience that can ultimately liberate you. If you choose to avoid it, it will show up again, to give you another opportunity. It has a masterful way of doing that. The problem comes in when we react to the fear with equal power. The terror that can form within is on another level of understanding, it beats any Hollywood horror film by a landslide.
Now, we don’t really want to examine or experience fear for many reasons. First, it scares us to death! And, secondly, it seems impossible to overcome. Its power can grasp a hold of us and feel as if the grip will never release like we are possessed by something beyond our control. Not a fun place to be! It is perfectly natural to want to avoid this, and I understand why people preach to turn away from it, it’s not an easy path.
However, what if your ticket to freedom was walking through the fire? What if your peace was being shown to you by a lunatic? Is it possible that fear is simply showing you the insanity of yourself and this world we believe to be true? Is it possible that fear is really only afraid of losing its identity, the ego mind? If these statements are true, then can we see this release of fear through the eyes of Spirit? Can we go back to the decision-maker in our mind and see this experience for what it really is, a scared identity that is not part of Real Love?
The answer is, of course we can! We all have the ability to choose peace, to see fear for what it is, the protector of a false identity. Fear is not trying to harm you, even though the nervous system’s physical reaction may feel that way, the shaking, the adrenaline, the heart rate spiking, you know the feeling. If you are presented with a life-threatening experience, this fear will kick in without you even thinking and provide you with the possible tools to help you. This will happen in life as long as you are in a body.
EGO DEATH
Ego death is simply the death of the false self, the false identity of the ego mind. If the world is based on fear and is separate from Reality, our Real Home in God, then is it possible for the ego to completely die while we are still living in the separate world of bodies? Is ego death more suited for our return to our Home in God?
It seems that if Reality is where we are Love, where we are One, where there is no specialness or separate bodies, simply one essence beyond our current comprehension, then there must be some resemblance of ego as we live in the world in a separate body. If we have denounced the ego identity completely, then what is the point of remaining in the world? If our egos have truly died, then wouldn’t we be Home In God?
These are questions to consider when you come across information about ego death. It is possible for the ego to take a back seat, and maybe even a permanent one. However, it doesn’t mean it won’t show up when needed. When those real fearful moments take place in our lives, when we have an unexpected fearful experience, then it will appear again.
Real liberation is simply seeing the ego for what it is. It is equally liberating to see the relevance of fear, simply as a scared child afraid of losing the character it believed itself to be. When fear comes up in your life, see it for what it is, just trying to protect your identity, and eventually, over time, with practice and understanding, you will just see it, wink at it, and choose to see it with the Spiritual Self that is leading you Home.