Letting Go: Easier Said Than Done
LET IT GO ALREADY!
“Just LET IT GO!” Isn’t that what we all hear? Come on, just let go of it already! Well, if it were that easy, we’d all be doing it, wouldn’t we? As much as we may desire to let go of something in our life, something that is keeping us from moving on or seeing clearly, we seem to repeat the same patterns over and over again without even realizing it. The real question becomes, why are we not allowing ourselves the ability to see? Why are we keeping what is clearly not working alive and well in our life? Even if we are able to see what is happening and the creatures of habit that we are, why can’t we let it go?
There’s a lot of talk about if we just stop thinking bad thoughts then we can change our lives. But, is it really that easy? Is it really the thought that is holding us back or keeping us locked up? Or, is it the fact that we believe in it so strongly, that we are completely and utterly attached to the thinking that is keeping us in a holding pattern? Just shifting the thinking isn’t always the answer. When we shift from here to there, we’ve just focused our attention elsewhere without really understanding why we are doing what we are doing. If we don’t look at what and why our minds are doing what they are doing, how can we possibly let go of it?
Most of us will experience something during our life that brings us to a point of struggle, or to a very challenging period of time, or it can bring us to complete and total suffering. No matter the level of friction we are experiencing, no matter what kind of struggle we are faced with, the small ego self will want to hold on to this, to identify with it for as long as possible. This aspect of our minds loves to keep us stuck in a loop, it loves to watch us run as fast as we can on the hamster wheel of life seemingly going nowhere.
When we wake up to this fact, when we begin to go through a transformation and see that the dual aspect of the mind is preventing us from moving on, then we can begin to step off the spinning wheel and relinquish the chains we have grown so attached to. Once we understand what is happening in our minds, then we can work toward removing the obstacles that are hindering us from seeing who we really are.
WANTING TOTAL CONTROL
Before we wake up from our minds and are able to observe how it functions, we are typically experiencing the need for total control. Whether we admit it or not, we absolutely want to control everything in our life, we want to know the answer to every problem we encounter, so much so that when we don’t have answers we fall into a downward spiral of inner panic that can wreak havoc on our life. When the mind falls into the UNKNOWN is when our world blows up right in front of us. We become extremely uncomfortable when we do not know where we are going, when we have no say in the matter, and when we sense ourselves spinning into oblivion.
This control that we seek is always aiming for self-gratification, for certain expectations and predetermined outcomes, whether they are positive or negative are irrelevant. If these outcomes are not met, our mind will reposition itself until it finds another immediate gratification. This becomes a constant cycle we put ourselves in. We set goals to achieve, and when we achieve them we set new ones, over and over until we think we progressed somewhere, to a better state of being, into a better person, or whichever title we want to give ourselves at that moment. Often the incredibly hard worker who is aiming to climb the ladder of success in the world gets caught in this trap just as easily as the person experiencing the negative side of emotions.
On the contrary, if we set goals and standards that we can’t meet, then our minds can fall into victim mode, imploding on ourselves which leads to another stuck pattern. In this reality, we are never good enough, not capable enough, or falling prey to being so-called BAD people. No matter which side of the mind we find ourselves in, each one of these positions is still a cycle, it still has a very strong hold on us. One is simply being the achiever and the other is acting incapable of anything. Both sides are feeding the ego’s game. They each fall into gratifying the small self. Whether you seek to better or worsen your identity, it is necessary to see the ego’s playbook in order to let go of its grip. Without looking, letting go is an impossibility.
ARE WE REALLY READY?
There are many levels of letting go in this world, from eliminating small annoyances that bother us, to seeking revenge on those that have hurt us, or surrendering our ego identities, each layer leads deeper into the underworld of our minds. If we know that we are holding on to something that bothers us in the world or possibly holding a grudge against someone who wronged us, it may eventually become apparent that we need to move on. However, we can only do this when we are truly ready to do so. Focusing on letting go of something that we think we should let go of, but deep down we are still involved in the battle, may only allow the feeling to persist. Just because we think we are ready, doesn’t mean we are.
It is important to acknowledge when you are still upset about the situation. If you are, you are, and it is okay to hold it as long as you need to. When you act as if you can let it go and then you find yourself trash-talking the person you experienced the conflict with, then you are simply denying you are still holding on. When you are in denial, letting go is impossible. Often, when we shift our attention away from being angry, the attachment to the wall we put up disappears on its own.
During transformation, we are guided to see that our small identity is not who we are, which can be rather devastating. It may take a very long time to be able to let go of this totally and completely, which explains why we continue to fixate on the world. Surrendering ourselves to the Larger Awareness is no small task and one most of us are not fully prepared to accept upon first impression. We need time, we need the classroom to undo this process slowly, and that is exactly what we are experiencing here in this world, the baby steps back to our Real Home.
NOT KNOWING
The awakening process will bring us to a point of undoing everything we thought to be true. Stripping away the layers of our false selves brings us to the inevitable moment of nothingness. At a certain point, so much of ourselves has been released that we come to a pivotal moment, a perfect moment if you will, where you recognize we know absolutely NOTHING. We come to the real understanding that we literally don’t know anything about anything.
This pivotal shift will begin the process of letting go. When it is understood that you know nothing, your entire world will shift from being the controller and the knower of everything, into feeling humbled by not needing the answer to any of life’s supposed problems. You will feel a strong connection to the greater Self, so much so that it can be a permanent part of your life if you so choose. You have essentially shifted your perception from the little self of total control and self-gratification, into a relationship with your larger Self as spirit. It’s surrendering all of what you believed to be true, all of what you thought you knew, all of the controls you created, and you toss them away for a larger guide in your life.
When you hand over your life to something beyond yourself, you are accepting life however it presents itself to you. You have let go of the internal battleground and control system. You now become the water flowing effortlessly down the rough rapids of a mountain stream and into the calm river of the flat lands. Your need to know everything leaves you and you become immersed in the ever-present now moment. The small self has taken a back seat and you’re connection to All That Is begins guiding the ship.
ACCEPTANCE AND FORGIVENESS
In order to move on from the grip of the mind, and after you have seen the drama the ego is playing, you can truly accept where life has brought you and feel grateful for the experience, even if it has taken you through endless peaks and valleys or through one battle after another. When we realize our little self is nothing compared to the expansiveness that is present, we can slowly wrap our arms around it and trust that we have been led here for a reason.
After truly accepting the process or the experience you have been given, no matter how horrific it may seem, forgiveness is shown to be a viable path to total surrender. Being able to forgive the situation life has presented you, to be able to accept it totally and completely, and then forgiving yourself for being so attached to the trickery of the mind, is necessary in order to fully let go of anything you are seeking to liberate yourself from.
Forgiveness is understanding that the madness of the ego mind is meaningless, that our identification with our small self is absolutely nothing in the Totality. When we feel this, when we are ready to join with a wiser teacher, forgiveness and letting go become natural, and much easier than we were making it out to be. When we resist the reality in front of our faces we are suiting up for war, however, when we accept life as it is, when we deal with whatever is happening in our current life, we can flow through it effortlessly as we are now unattached to expectation and outcome.
If we truly have no expectation of how things should be, and we embrace life as it is, we are in a harmonious dance if you will with the spiritual side of life. This does not mean we stop doing things in the world, or we don’t pursue something we are passionate about, it simply means that we are participating in the world with the Highest Self, the clearest vision we can have. When we let go of the old perception, and the belief in the ego’s system, we are now on a path Home and the eventual relinquishment of the ego in its entirety.
NEEDING AN END
During my own period of struggle, I became fixated on needing my awakening process to end. My mind was bound and determined to believe there was a magical end in sight, and that something was going to come in and change the situation for me. I was so convinced of this outcome that I couldn’t see any other alternative approach. For a long time, I was unwilling to let go of this belief, and it pushed me further and further into a hole.
The further down you go, you leave yourself less room to move, to free yourself from the darkness setting in. Because of my attachment to magic, to thinking this experience would just end, I was unable to give myself over to this Greater Presence that had consumed me. As much as I could feel it permeating my being, at the same time I was terrified of handing myself over to it. I was unwilling to lose control, to let this power lead me. I wanted to control it, and the only way I could was to believe in illusions.
Eventually, I realized the magic was never coming. There was no knight in shining armor coming to remove this obstacle I had found myself in. It was now up to me to accept what had happened to my life, to forgive myself totally and completely, and to be okay with not knowing where my life with this new perception was leading me. As I shifted my awareness into this larger field, I slowly began to learn what it was trying to teach me. I accepted my role as the student, learning how to have one foot in this realm, and another foot in the spiritual world. As I moved my attention into this space, threw my hands into the air, and surrendered, the handcuffs loosened and eventually fell off, and the process of letting go happened on its own.
When I lost my attachment to needing my life to be a certain way and allowing this experience to guide me, I let go of needing to know everything and began allowing myself to see through larger eyes. When I let go of the reigns, the end I was previously seeking, transformed into the beginning. I was simply at the beginning of a brand new life, a life that I wholeheartedly accepted. No turning back, no more falling victim, just a willingness to see differently and trust the greater field that had become so apparent in my life.
TRULY LETTING GO
Truly letting go means no looking back, no more playing games with your mind, and no longer believing in the false self and all of its manipulations. You are ready to dismiss the identity and commit to a life of real meaning and purpose that lies beyond the belief structures of the world. Letting go is your ticket to freedom, to the liberation of mind, of controlling outcomes, of complete and total acceptance of anything that happens, because you know that there is much more than what the eye sees, there is much more than this world, and to who we really are.
Giving up the attachment to our beliefs is only as difficult as we make it. When we truly see we are the only ones in our way, then we can begin to accept our responsibility in removing the obstacles we allowed our minds to tell us. Then the undoing process begins, which takes us right to the doorway of surrender and letting go. Our willingness to discover peace outweighs anything else the world has to offer.