The Victim: Prisoner of Your Own Mind
EASY TO FALL VICTIM
Name a time in your life when something went terribly wrong. At this moment it was not your fault, you were simply the victim of the accident, the abuse, or the circumstance of an event that was completely out of your hands. This happens all the time. In the world of duality, there is the victimizer, and the victim, the attacker, and the attacked, the threatener, and the threatened. Unfortunately, this world is set up that way. There will always be the opposite experience on the other side of the coin.
If you can think of this coin and the dual structure of your mind, specifically the conflicted mind that we all have, you can begin to understand why it is so easy to fall into whatever role the current reality is luring you into. The conflicted mind represents the good and the bad, correct? Or, in other words, the true and the false mind. We can refer to this as the spiritual side of the mind representing good, and the falsehoods of the mind as part of the egos playbook. With this in mind, you can then project any given life occurrence and label the parties involved as exemplifying good or bad behavior.
When we find ourselves immersed in a transformation, a change in life, or in the throws of something we see as out of our control, it becomes very easy to identify as the victim. We can attach to this role so much so that we eventually wear it as a badge of honor, feeling proud that we were simply at the mercy of someone or something else. This feeling can grow substantially, and transform into who you think you are. Many people will wear this self-acclaimed badge throughout their lifetime, allowing it to define them forever.
THE PRISON CELL
The problem in doing this is you box yourself in from really understanding the mind and the master manipulator that it is. Identifying as the victim, even if that holds true, prevents you from removing the obstacles of the mind that are keeping you from who you really are. Without knowing it, it is possible to box yourself in and create a prison cell within your mind, and don’t forget, you can also unintentionally set up a spot for solitary confinement. This can be a dark, lonely, and trapped way to live, even if you believe you had no choice in the matter.
When we enter into a spiritual transformation, whether voluntarily seeking this change, or whether it occurred spontaneously, there will come a point in time when your mind may believe it has gone too far, and the only way out is to run the other way and become the victim of what seems to be an impossible feat. Your mentality will cling to the idea that it has no other choice, that the experience is out of your control, and you simply must put the blame on the experience in order to justify why you are in the predicament you are in. Adopting this mentality will bring you into a corner, a cozy corner you may never want to leave.
Waking up is not an easy journey, and this particular prison center you may create is not ideal. On the contrary, it can also become very comfortable. There comes a point when things can get too comfortable if you know what I mean. After all, it is your space, you created it. You begin to believe there is no other way except to play it safe, to stay in your box, whether it is just a mental box, or you have made a physical one, or both.
You may get to a level where you enclosed your cell so much, you believe you are at the mercy of the situation, and the key to unlocking this metal apparatus is tucked away in your purposely hidden subconscious treasure box, out of sight and out of mind. Look at the mastery of the mind. By doing this, you never have to accept responsibility for where you find yourself. You never have to make a change, or actually do something to alter your reality. You can stay in your comfort zone as long as you see fit. To the ego mind, blaming the situation is always a much safer bet.
EXCUSES ARE THE NAME OF THE GAME
The dominating strategy of the mind when it refuses to accept reality is to make as many excuses as possible for why you are in the situation you are in, whether you are in a difficult stage of transformation, or you are struggling with an inconceivable trauma. It LOVES excuses, so much so that you begin to believe these are valid reasons for not making changes. Your mind wants to stay fixated on external blame, rather than try to solve a problem, gain wisdom from the situation, and help you see who you really are. Let’s face it, excuses keep us trapped in the cyclical drama of a mind that is not negotiating with our best interest at heart.
There are many theories and suggestions about our ego mind. Some say to befriend it, some say to ignore it, and some say you can eliminate it completely while living in this world. Hmmmmm. Which one is it? Those are conflicting statements. Does anyone really have the right answer? It seems that learning all about it, without attaching to it, is the only way to move beyond it. Can you simply analyze it like the data analytics machine operating today? Can you see it without personalizing it? Can you put on your Sherlock Holmes hat and look without justifying your victimhood?
Investigating doesn’t mean the ego will not be there, it simply means that you have figured out its trickery, you have dissected it in all directions so that you feel more connected to the spiritual side of your mind than you do this agent of manipulation and deceit. Your Highest Self, the representative of Truth, the real you beneath the facade, has outsmarted its next move. If you know the ego’s strategy, which is always self-gratification, even if the gratification appears harmful to you, it is still self-gratification. There is something the ego gains from maintaining its position. The victim's mind feeds itself by continuing to believe in its sad story, no matter the level of torture you have been through.
The human mind, while living in the world will have a conflicted mind. The question remains is which side of the mind are you going to see with today? Which glasses are you going to put on in any given situation, the smudged-up dirty specs, or the clearest vision glasses on the market? The victim mentality will remain in strong standing until you begin to ask these questions. And, when you begin to ask questions, you begin loosening the chains you put yourself in.
UNLOCK THE PRISON CELL
After trapping yourself in for long enough, many of you will feel the urge for change, the desire to shift the energy into a more manageable outcome. If the inner fire is burning, and you truly want to do something about your entrapment, then you will absolutely find that key, the key that was purposely hidden from your reach, in order to free yourself from the dilemma you created.
It is important to recognize that even though you didn’t have control over your awakening or your specific tragedy, you certainly do not have to remain a victim of it either. All things in life have the opportunity to teach us something. What is this teaching you? Are you able to see the strength you can gain from the experience? Can you accept that your life has gone in a direction you didn’t plan for? Can you be okay with that?
Look at the previous excuses you used to remain in hiding. Look at all the ways in which you were believing your mind’s mental interpretations. These thoughts and interpretations may or may not be true. Even if it is true that your awakening put you into an experience that was unwanted, that you want no part of, are you really going to let it take you? Are you going to fall victim forever believing there is no possible way for a change? When you realize this is a falsehood in the mind, everything changes.
ESCAPE YOUR PRISON
How do you free yourself? How do you shift your mind so that you no longer fall into the same trap? First, ask yourself are you still a victim? Is the victimizing currently happening? If it isn’t, then realize that this is an experience of the past, but does not have to take over your life anymore. Do you need to hold on to this moment, and why are you choosing to do so? Can the experience you endured mold who you are, make you the person you wish to become, and be truly grateful, even though it may have been horrific? If you are currently being physically or emotionally victimized in some way, then seek help from a trained professional to guide you into a safer situation.
Another question to ask is what are you afraid will happen if you drop the victim? What are you really afraid of? Fear can be a very powerful player along your journey of waking up. More often than not, we are afraid of the experience happening again. We don’t want to relive what we see as a tragic moment. If you had an abusive relationship and now you are afraid of entering a new one, or you feel abandoned by God in your spiritual endeavor, both fears leave you blind. The fear is merely a front for not wanting to participate in freeing yourself. You can stay in your safe environment without taking responsibility for why you are where you currently are. Therefore, we remain a victim and relive it all the time. When you can step outside of the thinker, and view the mind with the observer, you can see how ridiculous this proposition really is.
Lastly, accepting what has happened to you, or accepting the difficulty your awakening has brought you, is required in order to free yourself. Accepting that life took a180 degree turn in a direction you never imagined, a direction you may not have known existed, is necessary in order to release the layers inhibiting you from the journey to self-realization. If you want to feel true liberation, then this step is a requirement. Learning your new life and where it is leading you will help you wrap your arms around your transformation, and truly escape the walls of your mental prison.
A PERSONAL TAKE
For a longer period of time, than I like to admit, I fell into victimhood blaming my external experience for why I couldn’t do anything. This was the belief I maintained for years, that I couldn’t deal with the amount of energy I felt coming into my system. And, don’t get me wrong, it was incredibly intense, and my nervous system was a mess, so creating my own safe haven was my immediate solution.
It became a solution temporarily, just like most things in this world are, temporary. It works for a while until it doesn’t. Nothing changed. Just because I became a hermit, didn’t change the amount of energy I experienced. It was still happening even in the safety net of my own home. So, after a while, I began to question, if I am still feeling energy inside and outside my house, then what is the real solution?
Running from it didn’t change a damn thing! Blaming my unwanted and uninvited circumstance and playing a marginal actress at best wasn’t solving anything. If anything, it allowed me the time to really SEE. The victim led me to this place, a place where the intense climb up the never-ending mountain begins opening up into a beautiful valley extending in all directions. The victim gave me introspection, the time to dissect what was happening to me and to get it together. It was way past time to accept my new role and learn how to live it in the world.
The visions of how I wanted my life to be simply didn’t show up. So, instead of pushing it away and blaming this powerful energy on my inabilities, it was time to try something different. It was time to acknowledge that there was another plan for my life, and I was not in on it. When you are not in on the decision-making, you get defensive, and the protector which is the victim steps in to console you, to guard you if you will. Well, after many years I finally saw this, and it was time to thank the victim for a job well done, and for showing me what I needed in my life. In order to become who I was meant to be, I would have to do the work. And, that was exactly where I committed to staying. To do the work, and let this experience guide me to where I was meant to be, even if it wasn’t part of my intended plan.
THE VICTIM’S HIGHER PURPOSE
Once you see that the role you were playing, the victim you had become, has provided a service of sorts, a true direction for your life, then you can begin to shift your reality into something more freeing, more workable, and doable for you. The victim gets a bad rap. It can be used both to your advantage and your disadvantage. However, when you see that it is simply showing you something you haven’t seen yet, just like any other emotion or experience we have, then you will begin to see the value it has to offer.
If you take the opportunity in front of you, being a victim allows you to see the dual mind. It allows you to see the roles we play on the stage of the world. It also allows us to see that sometimes we can abuse the victim itself, and hinder our own spiritual awareness. The victim sees the victimizer, and therefore we see the trap of blame. When we rise above this battleground of sorts and are truly willing to understand what is happening, we begin to see that no matter what side of that coin we are on, victim or victimizer, both roles are trapped into projecting their reality onto the other. There is no liberation in this thinking. There is no peace in this mentality. The only way to peace is to accept, forgive, and unlock the cell you cleverly and unknowingly established. Joining with your spiritual nature will help release you from your own private prison that can always be undone.